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hoadie
Moderator Group Joined: March 16 2006 Location: Niagara/Canada Status: Offline Points: 9003 |
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..Two Scotsmen walk out of a bar..Hey, it COULD happen!
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Loose wimmen tightened here
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A square 10
Special Member Donating Member Joined: December 12 2006 Location: MN , USA Status: Offline Points: 14452 |
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ive done it - on a rare occasion , just sayin ,
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White Rhino
Special Member Donating Member Joined: May 05 2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 5118 |
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Hey!! I walked out a few bars !!! Oh wait ,..... Im part Irish........ and all them others !!!! LOL!!! could be a little Scots in there some how !!!
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"White Rhino"
"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer." --W. C. Fields |
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paddyofurniture
Senior Member Joined: December 26 2011 Location: NC Status: Offline Points: 5255 |
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I am going to steal this one! Thanks! |
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Always looking for military manuals, Dodge M37 items,books on Berlin Germany, old atlases ( before 1946) , military maps of Scotland. English and Canadian gun parts.
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Shamu
Admin Group Logo Designer / Donating Member Joined: April 25 2007 Location: MD, USA. Status: Offline Points: 17603 |
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Feel free, no copyright.
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Don't shoot till you see the whites of their thighs. (Unofficial motto of the Royal Air Force)
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paddyofurniture
Senior Member Joined: December 26 2011 Location: NC Status: Offline Points: 5255 |
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Always looking for military manuals, Dodge M37 items,books on Berlin Germany, old atlases ( before 1946) , military maps of Scotland. English and Canadian gun parts.
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paddyofurniture
Senior Member Joined: December 26 2011 Location: NC Status: Offline Points: 5255 |
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One-liners by Henny Youngman.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well. If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving. I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. You look like a talent scout for a cemetery. When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. I just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months. How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.' If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope. She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match. This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest. Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous. The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face. There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out. |
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Always looking for military manuals, Dodge M37 items,books on Berlin Germany, old atlases ( before 1946) , military maps of Scotland. English and Canadian gun parts.
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Shamu
Admin Group Logo Designer / Donating Member Joined: April 25 2007 Location: MD, USA. Status: Offline Points: 17603 |
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Don't shoot till you see the whites of their thighs. (Unofficial motto of the Royal Air Force)
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A square 10
Special Member Donating Member Joined: December 12 2006 Location: MN , USA Status: Offline Points: 14452 |
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this scotsman is smiling , im so glad we can all make fun of ourselves and still chuckle a bit a few days later - being "so offended " that we might need to strap on a suicide vest seems really foreign and almost inhuman - if it were not for the @##holes doing it all over the globe - what is to be done ?
i actually have walked out of a number of bars , cant recall the last time i had to be carried .....
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paddyofurniture
Senior Member Joined: December 26 2011 Location: NC Status: Offline Points: 5255 |
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I like Scotch so much I married one.
I tell my children they are Scottish and a Canada Dry. The perfect mix. |
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Always looking for military manuals, Dodge M37 items,books on Berlin Germany, old atlases ( before 1946) , military maps of Scotland. English and Canadian gun parts.
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