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paddyofurniture View Drop Down
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    Posted: December 26 2016 at 2:42pm
Paddy and Hoadie are working on a building site.

Paddy says to Hoadie "I'm gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!"

... He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!" Hoadie watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home" So he leaves the site.

Hoadie starts packing his kit up to leave as well.

"Where the he!! are you going?" asks the Foreman.

"I can't work in the friggin' dark!" says Hoadie!
Always looking for military manuals, Dodge M37 items,books on Berlin Germany, old atlases ( before 1946) , military maps of Scotland. English and Canadian gun parts.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote A square 10 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 26 2016 at 5:41pm
good one , i like that 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shamu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 27 2016 at 5:12am
BWHAHAHaHahaha
PitBull, spawn of Rottie!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote A square 10 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 27 2016 at 6:53pm
seems you and i are the only ones left with a sense of humor shamu ..... or perhaps the only ones not engaged / without computer access ? i think we need to have lightened attitudes this time of year lest we become a statistic , i wish i could recall a decent joke to tell .....but alas .......
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Von Gruff Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 27 2016 at 7:13pm
I did have a chuckle but I had heard it numerous times before with different players in the hot seat.
Von Gruff

The ability to do comes with doing.   


Exodus 20:1-17

Acts 4:10-12
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bear43 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 28 2016 at 6:51am
That was pretty good LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shamu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 28 2016 at 9:20am
You may have a point at that. With all the pre, during & post election conniption fits its become a bit drastic on the web. I find it harder & harder to remember a joke that wont offend someone, usually on behalf of another person they "assume" would be offended by it.
PitBull, spawn of Rottie!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hoadie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 28 2016 at 1:11pm
Sham: To he!! with 'em! tell the joke..offend away! (Theres an old saying round here:"F*#K 'em if they can't take a joke!"
Loose wimmen tightened here
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shamu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 28 2016 at 1:44pm
I heard it the other way round: "Joke 'em if they can't take a good. . . " well you get the idea.
PitBull, spawn of Rottie!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote paddyofurniture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 28 2016 at 4:24pm
Do you know why space is a vacuuum?

Became everyone who does not a Enfield s$%&!

Always looking for military manuals, Dodge M37 items,books on Berlin Germany, old atlases ( before 1946) , military maps of Scotland. English and Canadian gun parts.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hoadie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 28 2016 at 4:38pm
Better have another beer, Paddy
Loose wimmen tightened here
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paddyofurniture View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote paddyofurniture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 28 2016 at 5:17pm
Originally posted by hoadie hoadie wrote:

Better have another beer, Paddy


Hey!

I tried.

Lets hear one from you.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote A square 10 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 28 2016 at 8:32pm
ill have another beer thank you and yes im good with **** em if the cant take a **** whichever way you desire to address it , 

i do enjoy that this inspired a bit of banter here in these rushed holiday efforts , we need to have a letdown to relieve the stress , and in spite of what it might be presented as - it is stressful even when we put on the good face for all we see these holiday days .......JUST SAYIN , 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote paddyofurniture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 29 2016 at 8:26am
Works for me.
Always looking for military manuals, Dodge M37 items,books on Berlin Germany, old atlases ( before 1946) , military maps of Scotland. English and Canadian gun parts.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Zed Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 29 2016 at 9:30am
Here's a couple of old jokes; just to keep you going over the holiday!

Man walks into a bar! 
"Ouch"!
it was an iron bar!

**

Guy goes to the doctors. 
Doctor says; "I've got some bad news Mr Smith; you've got Altzeimers and Cancer

Mr Smith replies "thank god it's not Cancer!"


It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice!
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A man is standing in a bar when the bartender notices there’s a n aquarium tank next to him!

Fascinated he peeks in & a large octopus reaches up & grabs him.

“Don’t worry about Ozzie, he’s just being affectionate”!

After a few minutes the octopus releases the bartender.

“What the heck do you mean, bringing an octopus into a bar! Are you nutz”?

“Nah, mate I make my living with him in bars” the customer replies.

Fascinated the bartender asks how you can possibly make a living in a bar with an octopus.

“I bet in him & win usually”

The bartender, now fascinated asks how you use an octopus to gamble in bars.

The customer explains:

“I bet people he can play any musical instrument they can produce”!

He replies.

They settle on a $5.oo bet & wheel the tank over to the piano. The tentacles come flying out of the water & play the piano beautifully.

“Double or quits”?

They agree so for $10.oo they get a trombone down from the wall decorations & fling it in the tank.

The octopus grabs the slide with a couple of tentacles, holds it with a couple more, fills up his water jet with air & blows a Sousa march!

The bartender, determined to not lose $10.00 goes for double or quits again.

Being sneaky he throws a set of bagpipes in the tank.

The water starts boiling & the tentacles thrashing then he squirts ink & keeps on wrestling in the murk.

The bartender reaches for the money, but the customer grabs his hand.

A heated argument starts over the bet, the bartender is yelling that the octopus can’t play bagpipes so he lost the bet.

“Give ‘im a minute mate, once works out he can’t mate with it he’ll play it, trust me”!

PitBull, spawn of Rottie!
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