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How do you define an Enfield addict

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waffenlandser View Drop Down
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    Posted: September 04 2007 at 10:16am
Addiction is defined as an unhealthy compulsion to obtain satisfaction wether it be drugs,food,sex or gambling. There are definitely addicts of Ebay and various chat rooms.
 
Herer on this forum we have self proclaimed Enfield addicts. How do we fit into this classification. Is one satisfied with just one Enfield?? Is there a driving force that forces you to hit Gunbroker the minute you can get onto the web?? Do you look around nervously to see who is watching as you get onto the forum in the middle of a presentation by the boss' favourite???  Is there a race to get to the mail to grab the Visa bill before the wife gets to it?? Is the UPS truck being met round the corner ??? Is the car trunk carefully swept clean of News Papers from Vermont and Georgia???
 
With addiction comes guilt. Are the first 20 Favourites on your browser all Enfield or Milsurp???
 
Let me be the first to describe my addiction.
When I come home from work I run to the gun closet (I have no gunroom...yet) and stroke the shine on the 1913 or feel the oily bolt on the Longbranch. Then I kiss the wife and stroke the Golden. The phrase "your filthy guns" makes my heart ache as I look apologeticaly at the brood. "Dont point that thing at the dog" sends shivers of remorse down my spine. I feel their pain, these grizzled old vetrans.
 
I keep turning to the Military Channel in between Survivor and Big Brother to catch glimpses of the Somme and Yper. Seeing the SMLEs as they go over the top and trying to feel how it was. Was my SMLE there, I wonder.
 
Is it an obsession?? Sure it is. Is it healthy?? Hell, yes it is. Is it curable? Who cares.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 04 2007 at 10:34am
You know when your a Enfield adict ......... As a Pro Shooter you prefer to use the .303 for camels & other large beasties ,due to stopping power ,reliability ,& sheer fire power over the other heavy rifles you've got in the safe ! You use & prefer a 25-303 for long shots at Roos on a windy night even though your main work rifle is a .223! Yep 40 yrs & I never worried about the Enfield failing me


      Dave  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Cookie Monster Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 04 2007 at 10:38am
 

110 Ways To Tell If You're Addicted to Enfields. 
The Abridged and Edited (for obscure Aussie references) Version.

  1. You kiss Enfield goodbye instead wife as you are leaving for work 
  2. You call home more then twice a day to check on them 
  3. You get up at night to use bathroom and stop to check this forum on your way back to bed 
  4. Shane's reactions to his Maltby doesn't seem odd or bizarre at all, in fact you can recount several occasions you've felt the exact same way. 
  5. When faced with an old, beat, butcherized Ishapore MkIII* in a pawn shop the question you must wrestle with before you buy it is not 'why?', but 'why not?'. 
  6. After three hours of pestering the pawn shop owner, you cant think of a single reason 'why not' and proceed to buy the weapon for $20 more than its worth normally in good condition, yet are completely happy with your purchase. 
  7. You assume everyone you talk to will be interested in the cool inspection stamp you just discovered underneath the Knox form. 
  8. You are embarrassed to discuss certain credit card purchases made over the internet but signing up for a porn site isn't one of them. 
  9. You wonder what your friend's new Remington 700 was converted from. 
  10. You begin looking for original wood, iron sights, and barrel bands for that Remington 700. 
  11. You wonder why they ever deleted volley sights from rifles, heck with military tactics, they look SO COOL. 
  12. Upon hearing something about vultures in the news, you get the urge to take your Lithgow out to the range. 
  13. While discussing past relationships with your current significant other/wife/etc... you lapse into talking about your Enfields because you've given them all women's names. 
  14. Even after lapsing into Enfields, your significant other has no idea you're no longer talking about other women you've dated. 
  15. You're current significant other leaves you after you began pining away for some rifle you sold/traded long ago, consistently referring to it by its female name. 
  16. After she leaves you the only thoughts that cross your mind are: Great! More range time! More .303 money! Now I can finally buy that matching forearm from Lewis! 
  17. (For Galah) You never dated in school because you didn't want to limit your 'quality time' with your rifles. 
  18. Getting lucky means a couple of consistent MOA prints on the range...sex lives are for people who don't have Enfields. 
  19. You openly admit to stroking and oiling your wood. You even share tips on it with friends. 
  20. (For the single but dating guys) You don't care one way or another if your girlfriend doesn't ever want to spend the night, but if you wake up without your Enfields near you, it puts you into a gut wrenching panic. 
  21. You must say goodbye to the guys on the forum before leaving town or going on vacation
  22. You search frantically through the Ebay and other internet sites for a copy of The Lee-Enfield Story. 
  23. You know that cruciform and bayonet go together 
  24. You know that charger and Visa are two different things. 
  25. You know a nose-cap is not a knitted proboscis cover. 
  26. You know 10 rounds rapid has nothing to do with boxing. 
  27. You know a butt socket is not found in dirty books. 
  28. You know that a cup discharger is not a new way of removing a brassiere. 
  29. You know "head space" has nothing to do with hat size. 
  30. You spend so much time with Enfielders, you add an extra U to common words like valour, favour, armourer, etc. 
  31. You know how to wrap a pull-through 
  32. Every time someone mentions "The Finest Battle Implement Ever Devised" by name, you have an urge to scold them for using a 'dirty word'. 
  33. Enfield Logic: Who cares if the Mauser can handle a stronger cartridge? While you're still working you're Mauser action to make up for you're miss, my 2nd round is already there. 
  34. You gleefully like to remind germanophiles that where the SMLE took 22 years to refine, it went on to serve 60 years in frontline service. The Mauser took 37 years to 'refine' and was being traded off to 2nd line units and cut up for scrap after barely 47 years active service. 
  35. You know that the SMLE is the only bolt-action arm that has ever been mistaken on the receiving end for a machine gun. 
  36. The SMLE is only a Smelly until you've shot it, then its a SM(i)LE. 
  37. You know you're lucky because the local anti-gun politicos have no idea what a real rifle is. Assault rifle ban...hah...5.56? 7.62x39? The .303 is just getting STARTED when those two are digging in the dirt. 
  38. After a rough week you take a special sort of pleasure in showing up to the range with your Enfield, nestling in between two 'assault rifle' shooters who think that they're just the sh*t, and proceeding to make their targets look like victims of a scatter gun in comparison to your neatly punched, tight groups. 
  39. You lovingly rub oil into the stock, by hand, for up to 6 hours a day 
  40. You love the smell of old linseed more than a woman's perfume.
  41. You comment that " She shoots very well" (underline she) 
  42. You eagerly await the parcel delivery company, and know down to the minute their usual delivery times and routes in your area. 
  43. You start fights with G@rand boys over the most accurate, and realize they are WRONG! 
  44. You call your friends by bird names, or John or Warren to the respected elder statesmen. 
  45. It takes 45 minutes to get all your girlfriends out for a photo, and urge and nag John and Warren to take 2 weeks out of their time to do the same. 
  46. You scan more photos of "the ladies" than you do of the ladies. 
  47. You hunt gun sights for pictures of Enfields and accessories more than you do for nudie pictures. (hey, I have 2,532 gun photos on disc!) 
  48. A frog is not a reptile, no matter what your science teacher told you. 
  49. A bucket is not a water receptacle 
  50. A pull through is a pull through, NEVER a thong 
  51. Arsenals refer to your favourite football (soccer) team, living room is where you (prefer) to keep your guns.
  52. Piling swivel please, not stacking swivel! 
  53. It is a fuller, not a blood groove. P-Lease! 
  54. You become furious if James Paris Lee isn't mentioned in the same breath as Browning, Colt, Maxim, Mauser, G@rand, Sieve and Kalashnakov. 
  55. You scour the auction sites for months looking for a SMLE I* forend. Then you find it and get out bid. Then you cannot sleep for 2 days in abject dejection and inconsolability. Then you nag a Canadian for same.... (Reading this Warren?) 
  56. You finally realize that not all Ishapores are crud, just 98.25 % of them (Vulture's opinion is strictly his own on this one!)
  57. A cut-off has no correlation to John Bobbit. 
  58. A sliding charger bolt head is the holy grail. 
  59. Lithgow volley and dial sights come close to #58 
  60. Gibbs? Who the hell are Gibbs? 
  61. 2600 yards is easy range. 
  62. MALTBY! 
  63. You ask the forum the same question 10 times, cause you don't want to stuff the job up on such a lovely breed. 
  64. You laugh so hard reading #s 1-69 you have to bite down on an HXP round to keep from waking the family at 2am. You were just going to the bathroom after all and what can make you laugh there. 
  65. You'd rather risk peeing your pants to finish reading the addictive messages rather than get up and go to the bathroom and come back and finish reading them 
  66. You've been up 24 hours straight trying to get the baby room finished at night so, you can spend all the daylight hours at the range shooting your Enfield. 
  67. In spite being up all night and being dead dog tired before you go to bed you have check the 303 forum so you don't miss anything, 
  68. You end up spending 2-3 hours on it 
  69. You carefully distinguish between your "milspec" L-E's and your "hunting" L-E's even though no-one else sees a difference (It doesn't help when you change your mind once a week). 
  70. You actually pay more for an old, used, cloth sling, than a brand-new leather one with your name carved in it. 
  71. All of your rifles are quite clearly of war-time vintage, and you spend a lot of money searching out parts to make it look more like a military-issue firearm, importing them from all over the commonwealth, to boot. 
  72. You're not sure that this new L-E is going to be more accurate, or look and act as well as the ones you have, but you need it anyway. 
  73. You have more butts, swivels, screws, safety bolts, or what have you, than you have complete L-E's and yet you wouldn't even begin considering trading them off. "But that's a perfect example of a Longbranch Bantam butt stock" and you're over 6 foot tall... 
  74. You think you know the difference between beech and birch.
  75. You post this list on the wall of your gun room or vault next to you're babies just so you can tell them the many ways you love them. 
  76. You know Sweets 7.62  is not a candy. 
  77. You have broken at least one firing pin removal tool in the maintenance of you're collection. 
  78. You know what is meant by the term "Hand guard Legs." 
  79. You know magazine lips are meant for bending, not kissing. 
  80. You read all the new posts on the group, even when you've got absolutely no idea what the people are talking about, or have never owned an Enfield like the one being discussed.
  81. Although only owning one or two other Enfields, you consider it you're personal quest to find a SMLE with the cut-off intact. You regard the rare SMLEs with both cut-offs and volley sights intact, as holier than the Lost Ark of the Covenant. 
  82. You find and purchase that SMLE and, although always loading a full magazine, you prefer to shoot it single shot because, hey, that's what the cut-off is there for!
  83. You're wife/significant other, is used to seeing you quite affectionately hold and pet you're 'ladies' and doesn't mind in the least. 
  84. You're wife/significant other, has openly forbade you to rent any movie in which an SMLE might appear because she knows you'll comment/drool over the rifle...(but a skin flick is perfectly all right). 
  85. (For you 'Highlander' fans) You've ever picked up a L-E in front of you're wife/significant other, and after deeply inhaling the sweet aroma of its oils you shut your eyes and launch into a commentary about the rifle and the year it was made like you were there...(Maltby, 1921....1921 was a very good year...) 
  86. You are annoyed when you go to a gun show and do not see a Enfield; 
  87. You own more bayonets that fit your Enfields than you own Enfields; 
  88. You fall asleep at night to the vision of firing one of your Enfields; 
  89. Determining whether a gun show was a good one is based on the number of Enfields present; 
  90. You hide one of Enfield purchases from your significant other/spouse (No.2 MKI* revolver here); 
  91. Knowing the actual names of Enfield Vultures, Buzzards, Owls, and other gamy fowl; 
  92. Having had the pleasure of meeting "Jona"; 
  93. Owning more pull-throughs than Enfields so that you are not without on your next Enfield purchase; 
  94. Wishing you lived next door to Vulture, Warren, et al; and
  95. Typing out No.'s 80-89 when the wife is in the shower.
  96. You know what an Ashoka is.
  97. You know the Ishapore screw is not shown in the Kama Sutra
  98. You know the correct way to install an Enfield sling.
  99. "Aiming off" is not a mystery.
  100. You know what the command "Ease Springs" means.
  101. You don't think the absence of a hole for the piling swivel on a Lithgow is a factory mistake
  102. You correctly identified the weapon used to capture R2D2 in the first Star Wars film.
  103. Sticking your wood in kitty litter then washing it in the shower with hot water and soap is normal.
  104. You think nothing of buying headspace gauges AFTER firing dozens of rounds through your rifles.
  105. After 'athletic activities' in the sack with the significant other, you discover some part or another of an Enfield in full, clear detail, pressed into some part of your (or her) anatomy because you forgot to take the rife out of the bed before beginning.
  106. #106 happens so often you're significant other not only fails to mind anymore, but doesn't even notice...
  107. (For Galah) In the throes of passion you forget to call out her name and instead either A) yell out the name of you're favourite arsenal, or B) call out the name of you're favourite rifle.
  108. After not writing on the board for several days, your friends begin to worry about your health and wonder who will get your collection.
  109. You find yourself looking up at your Enfield collection for inspiration from your keyboard.
  110. You order a fifty YARD roll of flannelette from the other side of the ocean just to have the "proper" materials on hand to clean your rifles
<SCRIPT language=JavaScript src="http://us.js2.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/smb/js/hosting/cp/js_source/geov2_001.js"> geovisit(); This should define it all
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote White Rhino Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 04 2007 at 10:41am
Hell I'm on first Name basis with my UPS driver, and rush on to the house if we pass each other up front on my way home from work.
We even have signals, if I meet him in Napoleonville and he has a package for me he will flash his lights so I can get my Rifle early.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TomcatPC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 04 2007 at 12:35pm
I think I am very lucky, my Girlfriend has no problem at all with my rifles (and one revolver, with a possible .380" Webley Mk. IV on the way). Granted I only have two Lee-Enfield rifles at the moment, but she knows down the road I intend to all to that number. She also knows I want a Martini-Henry someday as well. Down the road when we actually have a house, we are going to turn one room into "The Empire Room", it will be a little sancuary for Lee-Enfield Rifles, Martini-Henry Rifles, Webley Revolvers, Wills Wild Woodbine Ciggy Packets, and all the kit that goes along with them...LOL.
Mark
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote waffenlandser Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 04 2007 at 6:57pm
'ave a 'eart mate or she'll 'ave yer guts fer garters.
 
Hope you have some South African stuff in the Empire room.
 
Preeeeesent. Shoot.
You may take my Enfield. From this cold and lifeless hand.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tymber Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 04 2007 at 7:48pm
You relize that your an Enfield addict when you sit up all night to make up 110 reasons why...
 
You know your an Enfield addict when you can agree with 110 reasons why and come up with 2 more....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 303carbine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 05 2007 at 12:58am
I totally agree, I have another Enfield enroute to me as I type this....Approve
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As do I. New Savage. Can hardly wait.
Its like an adrenaline rush opening the "Long Box"
You may take my Enfield. From this cold and lifeless hand.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Cookie Monster Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 05 2007 at 5:23am
Originally posted by Tymber Tymber wrote:

You relize that your an Enfield addict when you sit up all night to make up 110 reasons why...
 
You know your an Enfield addict when you can agree with 110 reasons why and come up with 2 more....
 
I'm 100% Addicted to all my 7 Enfields and all future acquisitions of new Enfields.
 
CM
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote A square 10 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 05 2007 at 10:30pm
when the office is full of rifles and those facing forward are all enfields , when the first sites i visit on my computer in the morning are enfield related and im looking at the same photos ive looked at for weeks , when im having a bad day and the idea of relaxing is an enfield at the range ,
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It is not just the rifles themselves, it all the other kit that goes along with them. Oil Bottles, Pull-Throughs, Bayonets, Bayonet Frog,Pattern-1908, Pattern-1937, Pattern-1944 Webbing, Bandoliers, Books, Ammunition boxes,Slings, etc.

As of now, I only have one No.1 Mk.III Rifle, and one No.4 Mk.I* Rifle, but God-Willing there will be more. However, I have a lot of the other kit as well...LOL. I'm really grateful my Girlfriend see this as a positive thing...LOL.
Mark
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 06 2007 at 12:32pm
I've just seen a Martini Enfield in .303 that I just have to get !!!!!!!  I'm off to work for 4 shortly & if it's there when I get I get home I'll see if it's still there !!

     Dave
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hatchetman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 06 2007 at 12:48pm
There was a good artice in the august SSAA rag about the 303 martini enfield!

Anyone want me to scan it and put it up?

And even better there is a good artice about the No1Mk111 in this months rag!

But the winters coming,

And the snow will cover tracks,

And I'll be watching,

Because I'm hunting you



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TomcatPC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 06 2007 at 1:46pm
I have wanted a Martini-Henry Rifle for some time now. Up until recently the only one I have ever seen in real life was on dislpay in the Staffordshire Yeomanry museum in Stafford, Staffordshire. This was in 2002, now I see them up for sale every once in a while.

However after giving it some thought, a Martini-Enfield would be a better choice just for the simple fact the ammunition is much easier to locate...LOL. At a shop near where I live there is a Martini-Enfield for sale for around $350 (US). But...it was "brought back" by a Soldier serving in Afganistan, it has "Kyber Pass Special" written all over it. I think calling it an actual Martini-Enfield would be a strech, better description would be along the lines of "Martini "Type" Action with a .303" calibre barrel"...LOL. Needless to say, I have no intentions of buying it.
Mark
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Two more Enfields came in an unmarked Big Brown truck this week. It must be a conspiracy. Who can be doing this to me??????LOL
You may take my Enfield. From this cold and lifeless hand.
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