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**BREAKING NEWS** Storms' in Penrith.............

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Topic: **BREAKING NEWS** Storms' in Penrith.............
Posted By: Hatchetman
Subject: **BREAKING NEWS** Storms' in Penrith.............
Date Posted: December 21 2008 at 5:12pm
Hurricane Shazza hit Penrith in the early hours of 17th November 2008.
 Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering 'Faaackinell'.
 
 The hurricane devastated the area causing approximately $30 worth of
 damage. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals
 were woken well before their Centrelink cheques arrived.
 
 The Penrith Times reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
 bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that
 something interesting had happened in Penrith .
 
 One resident - Tracy Maree Sharon Britney Madonna Smith, a 15-year-old
 mother of 3 said 'It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came
 running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two Joachim and River slept
 through it all.'
 
 Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on
 as normal. The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates
 of Bacardi-Breezers to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue
 workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large
 quantities of personal belongings, including Health Care Cards, Jewellery
 from Kmart, and Bone China from Big W.
 
 HOW CAN YOU HELP?

 This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
 unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
 sought after - items most needed include: flannelette shirts, tight blue
 jeans or spandex, singlets (blue & white) white sport socks, Ugg boots and
 any other items usually sold in Priceline or The Reject Shop. Food parcels
 may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
 
 Required foodstuffs urgently needed include: Microwave meals, Baked beans,
 Ice cream, Chips, Fizzy drinks.
 
 Donations of $15.00 will be taken to buy a packet of winny blue 25s and a
 lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

**Breaking news**

Penrith Uniting Church has cancelled their local 'Nativity Display' due to
 their inability to find three wise men or a virgin. Please don't forward
 this to anyone living in Penrith - oh, stuff it, they won't be able to read
 it, anyway!



-------------
But the winters coming,

And the snow will cover tracks,

And I'll be watching,

Because I'm hunting you



- Sarah Blasko, The Gardens End



Replies:
Posted By: Shamu
Date Posted: December 21 2008 at 8:01pm
Sounds like a luvverly spot to avoid.Disapprove
 
In the U.S. the spandex would be specified as XXL & up only.Star


-------------
Don't shoot till you see the whites of their thighs. (Unofficial motto of the Royal Air Force)


Posted By: Lost Kangaroo
Date Posted: December 22 2008 at 8:09am
Hah, nice Hatch... I have a feeling you may have left a few of our "foreigners" here behind :)



-------------
Get some


Posted By: SW28fan
Date Posted: December 22 2008 at 10:11am
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
 
There are places like that all over.   I've been through more than a few.
I did check on Wikipedia and they cleaned the place up some, but "Lower than average income" and "far higher than average renting vs owning"  spoke a lot.  I may have to write down some anecdotes about being a range officer.


-------------
Have a Nice Day
If already having a nice day please disregard


Posted By: Ed Hill
Date Posted: December 23 2008 at 8:59am
[QUOTE=Lost Kangaroo]Hah, nice Hatch... I have a feeling you may have left a few of our "foreigners" here behind :)

Actually, you can make it a Northern California joke by changing the name to Rio Linda! Everything else can stay the same!

Ed


Posted By: thresher_593
Date Posted: December 23 2008 at 9:48am
There are parts of Ohio where a tornado is considered an urban renewal project.

-------------
Hiding out in the Northwest corner of Southeast Ohio


Posted By: SW28fan
Date Posted: December 23 2008 at 11:10am
OK my curiosity wins what are"winny blue 25s"?

-------------
Have a Nice Day
If already having a nice day please disregard


Posted By: Shamu
Date Posted: December 23 2008 at 11:21am
Mine too.
What am I missing?


-------------
Don't shoot till you see the whites of their thighs. (Unofficial motto of the Royal Air Force)


Posted By: Hatchetman
Date Posted: December 23 2008 at 2:53pm
Durries, Winfield Blue Cigarettes, 25 pack.  

-------------
But the winters coming,

And the snow will cover tracks,

And I'll be watching,

Because I'm hunting you



- Sarah Blasko, The Gardens End


Posted By: SW28fan
Date Posted: December 23 2008 at 3:30pm
Neat, I tried Winfield Cigarettes when I was in Perth back in 82 except they were in a red pack.

-------------
Have a Nice Day
If already having a nice day please disregard


Posted By: Lost Kangaroo
Date Posted: December 23 2008 at 8:34pm
The blues are much "classier" but the reds will kill ya quicker....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winfield_(cigarette)


-------------
Get some


Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: December 24 2008 at 3:17pm
Originally posted by Hatchetman Hatchetman wrote:

Hurricane Shazza hit Penrith in the early hours of 17th November 2008.
 Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering 'Faaackinell'.
 
 The hurricane devastated the area causing approximately $30 worth of
 damage. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals
 were woken well before their Centrelink cheques arrived.
 
 The Penrith Times reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
 bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that
 something interesting had happened in Penrith .
 
 One resident - Tracy Maree Sharon Britney Madonna Smith, a 15-year-old
 mother of 3 said 'It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came
 running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two Joachim and River slept
 through it all.'
 
 Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on
 as normal. The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates
 of Bacardi-Breezers to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue
 workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large
 quantities of personal belongings, including Health Care Cards, Jewellery
 from Kmart, and Bone China from Big W.
 
 HOW CAN YOU HELP?

 This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
 unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
 sought after - items most needed include: flannelette shirts, tight blue
 jeans or spandex, singlets (blue & white) white sport socks, Ugg boots and
 any other items usually sold in Priceline or The Reject Shop. Food parcels
 may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
 
 Required foodstuffs urgently needed include: Microwave meals, Baked beans,
 Ice cream, Chips, Fizzy drinks.
 
 Donations of $15.00 will be taken to buy a packet of winny blue 25s and a
 lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

**Breaking news**

Penrith Uniting Church has cancelled their local 'Nativity Display' due to
 their inability to find three wise men or a virgin. Please don't forward
 this to anyone living in Penrith - oh, stuff it, they won't be able to read
 it, anyway!



          " Achmed the Dead Terrorist " Has been quoted  (speaking for the Lebanese Community) as saying in reply to this News break ..........

             Silence !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Kill You !!!!!!  




Posted By: hoadie
Date Posted: December 25 2008 at 12:40pm
Originally posted by thresher_593 thresher_593 wrote:

There are parts of Ohio where a tornado is considered an urban renewal project.


I'm absolutley convinced that God hates trailer parks...EVERY time you see a news clip about a tornado touching down stateside-it ALWAYS seems to involve a trailer park!!
I remember one time drivin to Fla. on I-75(back in the 70's).The sky was BLACK...the radio was on emergency transmission re:Tornados in the area.We couldnt see anything...but when we came over the hill,it musta JUST passed-cause the debris was EVERYWHERE!!I guess it hit a trailerpark in the area.You can imagine the debris field...(Never seen so many pairs of women's spandex pants in one area before!)
Hoadie


-------------
Loose wimmen tightened here


Posted By: Cookie Monster
Date Posted: December 26 2008 at 1:11am
Weather will be in the mid 80'sF here today with Tornado warnings issued for this evening.



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