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why I won't give up smoking

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    Posted: November 25 2006 at 9:15pm
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual.

The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."

The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice.

While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and smelling the ale, could not stop himself.

His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.

His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning.

The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said,

"If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."

      Dave
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Lithgow View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lithgow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 25 2006 at 11:53pm

        

 
                                LOLLOLLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hoadie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 26 2006 at 12:28am
UR cousin tell you that one?
Hoadie
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 26 2006 at 12:41pm
Originally posted by hoadie hoadie wrote:

UR cousin tell you that one?
Hoadie


      If he & his mate were in that situation Hoadie ! I'd throw a full packet  down in front of them !  & yes I emailed it off to my Uncle ( who has to suffer having a son like that ) LOL


      Dave
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote shotgunminister Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 26 2006 at 12:53pm
LOL
 
My sisters a heavy smoker. If she's lucky she'll die gickly of a heart attack.  Not long and drawn out like my grandfather.  Died at 48 Years old.  After manyu years on oxygen.  When He realised it, It was too late the damage was done
I've seen the future and I don't like it.
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Not long and drawn out like my grandfather.


     I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather did !!!! Not screaming & struggling like the 3 other people in the car he was driving!!!!Big%20smile


       Dave ...............never tastefull
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote shotgunminister Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 27 2006 at 2:24am
Originally posted by dave h dave h wrote:

Not long and drawn out like my grandfather.


     I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather did !!!! Not screaming & struggling like the 3 other people in the car he was driving!!!!Big%20smile


       Dave ...............never tastefull
 
lolTongue
I've seen the future and I don't like it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote White Rhino Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 27 2006 at 7:37am
Man i miss my smokes, Im trying to get mouth cancer now, instead of lung cancer. herd you can see it when you get it not like lung cancer cant see that. Oh well jokes aside lost Quite a few famaly members from cancer, they give to you as a work bonus down here, got my dose 2 years ago at NORCO facility, nothing you can do about it but breath in the chems and keep working, complain and your fired, and dont even speak the word "UNION" oh my they will run you and your famaly out of town. Well they usualy just shut the business down if one gets in and wait till every one leaves or gets another job.
"White Rhino"

"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer." --W. C. Fields
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hoadie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 27 2006 at 9:11am
I quit smokin back in '80-'81.Still get the occasional craving...specially after a really fine repast..with a very good wine in accompaniament.
Hoadie
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote allan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 27 2006 at 11:45pm

the only smokin i do now is when the ssg's hit the bacon..smoked bacon...get it??   get i......?Embarrassed   IM HERE ALL WEEK!Big%20smile

man you's are a hard crowd.....
'SAVIOUR OF OUR SKIES BOYO!'
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lithgow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2006 at 8:31am
Watch out smokin bacon Allan. It will get a grip on ya and pretty soon you will be doing desperate things to support your habit.Smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2006 at 9:42am
As per normal ,Als haming it up again !Pig


     Dave
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hoadie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2006 at 12:51pm
AL! Just askin mate...how do ya manage to get the bacon into the papers to smoke it?
hOADIE
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2006 at 3:09pm
Originally posted by hoadie hoadie wrote:

AL! Just askin mate...how do ya manage to get the bacon into the papers to smoke it?
hOADIE


   He uses a Pipe ! .....A storm water pipe that is ! Ka Ka Boom !

     Dave
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote allan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 28 2006 at 9:54pm

i just hang my head over the carcass..drape a towel over my head and inhale.. i used to smoke rubber in my younger-studly days..now that im married i dont get the chance...

damn those wedding cakes and those "mysterious" ingredients.Star
'SAVIOUR OF OUR SKIES BOYO!'
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