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The Female mind explianed

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    Posted: March 28 2006 at 7:31am

The Female always makes The Rules. 

2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification. 

3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules. 

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules. 

5. The Female is never wrong. 

6. (If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.) 

7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.) 

8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time. 

9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female. 

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. 

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset. 

12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset. 

13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times. 

14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp. 

15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.

16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.

17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!


        Dave
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hoadie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 28 2006 at 8:28am
Right on, brother! N E 1 that has ever bin married can relate to that!
I am noted for saying;"women have No sense of humour OR generosity - unless it's THEIR idea!!"
That reminds me- it's my wife's anniversary on the 30th!
Once upon a time, in a life far away, I wuz in the restaurant biz.I had made a very loud & real threat to fire ALL female staff.
Needless to say, I wuz questioned re: this by some local media types, & I replied:" There's only 4 weeks in a month.My staff is 92 % female. If you figger that 1 week per month is pre-menstrual,1 is menstrual, & 1 is post menstrual, that leaves 1 week per month when they're pleasant & SANE.Unfortunatly, thats the week they will ALWAYS call in sick!!"
They never did print that. Go figger.
You know, in a civilized world....ah, ferget it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Cookie Monster Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 28 2006 at 10:50am

Dave H,

You better be sure Tracey does not read any of this. You may end up in the dingo house

Cookie Monster

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Gents I have no fear of Tracey reading this! As I took her out for lunch today(Ok it was only a Pie & Pastie at a park in town but hey ! I took her out ) Secondly I love to live on the edge of life ! Hoadie I hear you when about the moods of women I really do !

        Dave 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote allan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 31 2006 at 1:55pm

 

 Dave,you must know my mrs then?

 Im sick of her rolling pin, im gunna go hide it now while shes not here....

 IM THE BOSS AROUND OUR HOUSE..MY WIFE TELLS ME SO.



Edited by allan - March 31 2006 at 1:56pm
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Mate I've got my Mrs right were I want her ! She knows I have really low thresh hold of pain & pass out at the third aimed blow to the groin!


 Dave 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote allan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 31 2006 at 4:23pm

 

 Yep sounds familiar...

 they are a weird species hey?

 well like my mate says,  woman, cant live with em..........(a long pause) pass the beer nuts!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hoadie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 31 2006 at 9:07pm
Alright guys! I'm gonna rat you out! I'm callin ur wives & gonna put 'em wise to wot U said!
(I figger I'm safe from THIS distance!)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote allan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 31 2006 at 9:44pm

 

 Gday hoadie, hows things on your side mate.



Edited by allan - March 31 2006 at 9:48pm
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Originally posted by hoadie hoadie wrote:

Alright guys! I'm gonna rat you out! I'm callin ur wives & gonna put 'em wise to wot U said!
(I figger I'm safe from THIS distance!)
Hoadie


 You swine !!!!!!!   We know where you live ! Ever heard of ICBM's ????? I hear that the Old USSR is selling some off surplus ! One hidding from my cook & your toast

 Dave
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hoadie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2006 at 12:31pm
Send me ALL your $, & I wont say anything to her.So pay up or STARVE!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote allan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2006 at 12:57pm

 

 No even better, ill send me mrs over there and she can NAG YOUR ear off........

 Gotta go,just got hit by The rolling pin again..



Edited by allan - April 01 2006 at 12:58pm
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Originally posted by hoadie hoadie wrote:

Send me ALL your $, & I wont say anything to her.So pay up or STARVE!!
hoadie


 Your Tougher than what we thought ! Allen Email that Russian gentleman back & see if they've still got that Nuc on E-Bay ? !!!!

 Dave  (taking lessons in russian to work out the directions of launching a soviet missle ! Ah here we are !!! First light fuse !!!!!)
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HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY where are the Matches ? No dear  I'm not  going to burn the kids again ! There's a Bad Man on the Net ! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dave
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote allan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2006 at 1:09pm

 

 Na mate we'll just wait till the chinese make nukes with our uranium, then we'll tell them to send some hoadies way if you know what i mean.

 Im absolutely disgusted with our government.. first goes all the rights at work, now bloody sellin uranium to china...jesus! its the start of the end.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote shotgunminister Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2006 at 1:57pm

As an old shop teacher of mine once said. "I got 20 head of cattel out behind the barn.  Why would I want another tempermental female."  Needless to say I am not married nor courting. Nor do I care to do so.

 

 

You might be a redneck if you think trouble shooting involves a .303 and your daughter's new boyfriend.....

 

 

I've seen the future and I don't like it.
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