Light Speed

I wonder if she'd fall for a couple of photos of Roos holding knives Then I could try & tell her it was in self defence & my average of 30 per night is that they run in Gangs 

 dave

Allan;
My husky lived in a 60 litre drum for a year & a half!He liked it!
Rollin pins R wasted on my wife.Her maiden name wuz COOK - but she can't! She even manages to burn WATER!! No foolin. (It's a good thing I spent 20 + years in the food biz, or we woulda starved to death long ago!!)
I used to have a gas stove.TWICE she put water in the ELECTRIC kettle, & placed it on the stove - turned on the burner, & walked away!!!
I taught her how to steam cook fresh veggies, once.Twice, she put the steam basket in the pot, veggies in the basket, lid on the pot, pot on the stove, burner on NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST, & walks away.(Ever smelt a pot as it MELTS ? Oh man!!!(She can't get the "water thing" straight.)
She decided to cook chicken one time.She figgered well, if its an hour @ 350 degs - 500 degs should be faster.There she sat - reading her magazine -IN THE KITCHEN-whilest the house was filling with thick smoke 2 feet from the cieling, Chicken snappin & cracklin away.When I yelled @ her, the reaction was,"oh - oh my..it must be done."
Yes, she's a blonde.
We don't let her use the barbie @ all.We're afraid it'll end up in geosynchronice orbit(along with my supper!)
Now (like last night)when she sees pictures of food in magazines she wants to try - its up to ME to make it.
Speakin of Barbies - the one I got a year or 2 ago is SUPPOSED to be from Oz.
Happy cookin!!
hoadie

 

 mate, shes caught on to "the mans perfect gift"....hopelesness (wait a minute, hear me out)

 when my wife and I moved in together she always wanted me to get involved in the upkeep of the house, you know help cook,clean and the like...ahhh no thanks,(should see my garage though..spotless)

 Anyway so i played the game:

 1.Broke the vaccuum after getting tangled in the power lead

 2."accidently" smashed her favourite mug, and anything else of value whilst doin the dishes,

 3.Had a confused look on my face,as she explained to me how to use stove/oven, and sacrificed many a good roast..

 maybe you might be getting outsmarted by the fox mate?

 dont show your mrs this,she'll be angry at me for blowin her cover..he he

heh-heh-heh (he cackles) It seems the worm has turned, once more.Now I have YOU where I want you.
My wife truly cannot cook - I was warned by her family the day she brought me home(I shoulda listened) She wont deny that.
But YOU...aha! gotcha! I'm gonna bring your Shiela (If she REALLY exsists) up to speed bout wot U bin sayin.Then ur gonna get it!(How bout that...I reached out & Zapped someone thousands of miles away-& didn't even have to put my beer down to do it!)
This is gonna be MORE fun than the time the pigs ate my baby brother!!
hoadie

I've heard that.I was in Montour Falls, N.Y. in 1982.I couldn't believe it could rain so much!!Bin rainin since thursady, I got there Fri afternoon - then it REALLY started! Sunday afternoon, we wuz sittin in a bar havin a few "bevys" with a cop from Syracuse Ny, & it came on radio that it would be like 8 feet, if it was snow!There was flooding n all.wasn't nice.
We PARK in a DRIVEWAY, pay tolls on a FREEWAY, & have a tourist season,& we CAN't shoot 'em!!
hoadie

 

On a related note I figure'd that if I started inviting politicians over for dinner I could reduce my heating bill by 75%

If hot air rises why don't politicians fly way?

 

shotgunminister wrote:   On a related note I figure'd that if I started inviting politicians over for dinner I could reduce my heating bill by 75% If hot air rises why don't politicians fly way?

Oh, thats easy! Cause all the taxpayer's $$$ they've
got in their pockets, keeps 'em anchored near the "trough!"
hoadie

The Moody Blues released the song Ride my See-Saw in October 1968.

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